Weiss Parodies
by Trunks8
Summary: Weiss does random fairytales and movies their own way
1. Wizard of Weiss

CH1:WIZARD OF WEISS  
  
Omi: Once upon a time there was a farm girl named Kenorthy.  
  
Ken appears dressed in a Dorothy costume complete with a wig.  
  
Ken: What the hell?  
  
Omi: Whose farmhouse was sucked up.  
  
Farfarfello: by a giant tornado made of flames..  
  
Schuldich: In which it then landed in the land Oz.  
  
Ken: Where am I?  
  
Omi: Manx, who is dressed as Glenda the good witch appears in a puff of.  
  
Farfarfello: in a puff of flames.  
  
Manx: You are in Oz.  
  
Ken: Manx???  
  
Manx: I am no longer Manx I am now Manda the good witch.  
  
Yohji: Omi, Nagi and other random people now appear dressed as munchkins.  
  
Omi: Why do I have to be a munchkin.  
  
Yohji: Cause your short.  
  
Omi pouts as he goes back to where the others are.  
  
Yohji: The munchkins.  
  
Farfarfello: catch on fire and begin to burn!  
  
Yohji: Ain't you suppose to be dead?  
  
Farfarfello: not yet.  
  
Yohji: the munchkins begin to cheer because the wicked Farfie of the east was dead cause.  
  
Schuldich: A house made of cheese landed on him.  
  
Omi, Nagi, and other random munchkins: Yeehaw the Farfie's dead! The evil Farfie's dead! LALALALALALALA!  
  
Schuldich: This Story is becoming very disturbing.  
  
Yohji: Manda goes over to the wicked Farfie's dead body and takes.  
  
Schuldich: some girly red slippers from his feet.  
  
Manx: Here put these on, Kenorthy.  
  
Ken: No! No way! First I have to wear a stupid dress! Then a dumb wig! There is no way I'm gonna wear a stupid pair of girly red slippers! You can't make me! "He sticks his tongue out at them."  
  
Manx: Put them on!  
  
Ken: No!  
  
Manx: Put on the shoes!  
  
Ken: You can't make me!  
  
Yohji: You will wear the damn shoes!  
  
Ken: Never!  
  
Yohji: Put them on!  
  
Ken: No!  
  
"attempts to run away only to be tackled to the ground by Yohji. Schuldich forces the slippers on."  
  
Ken: I hate both of you. "pouts"  
  
Schuldich: We love you too.  
  
Yohji: As Kenorthy, the munchkins, and Manda skip down the yellow road.  
  
Schuldich: Made of cheese.  
  
Yohji: They are joined by a tin man, a cowardly lion, and a hot blonde guy.  
  
Schuldich: You mean a scarecrow.  
  
Yohji: You're a sick sick man. "looks at schu with a death glare."  
  
Schuldich: I live to please.  
  
Aya: Shi-ine!"is dressed as the tin man and is chasing the munchkins with his trusty katana."  
  
Brad: Why am I dressed like this, Schu?." Appears as the cowardly lion."  
  
Schuldich: It was the only part left.  
  
Yohji: This is stupid! "appears in scarecrow costume."  
  
Schuldich: The large group of people skipped down the road of cheese and began to sing.  
  
Farfarfello: began to sing about Mass murder and destruction.  
  
Schuldich: Aren't you suppose to be dead.  
  
Aya: Shi-ine! "hits Farfarfello with katana as he runs by"  
  
Farfarfello:@_@  
  
Group: We're off to see.  
  
Ken: Who are we going to see?  
  
Yohji: the wizard.  
  
Schuldich: ^laughs^ ^_^ appears dressed as the wicked with of the West"  
  
Group: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!It's the wicked witch of the west!!!!!!!!  
  
Schuldich: I'm not a witch! I'm a warlock! "Starts to pout"  
  
Brad: You're a witch!  
  
Schuldich: Warlock!  
  
Brad: Witch!  
  
Schuldich: Warlock!  
  
Brad: I say you're a witch!  
  
Schuldich: I'm a warlock!  
  
Aya: Shi-ine! "jumps from behind some bushes and chases Schuldich with his katana"  
  
Omi: this is stupid.  
  
Yohji: I quit!  
  
Nagi: You can't quit!  
  
Yohji: Why not!  
  
Nagi: We need a scarecrow!  
  
Yohji: Schu can do it.  
  
Nagi: No, he can't. He's the witch.  
  
Schuldich: I'm not a witch! I'm a warlock!  
  
Aya: Shi-ine! "Attempts to hit Schuldich with his katana only to go flying into a lake along with Schuldich because Yohji ^accidently^ tripped them"  
  
Aya: Shi-ine "Jumps out of the water into the air, as he lands on the ground he starts to chase Yohji with his katana."  
  
Schuldich" I'm melting.."he said as he got out of the water."  
  
"The others just shrug their shoulders and continue on their way."  
  
Group: We're of to see the wizard the wonderful wizard of Oz. because because.  
  
Yohji: This is stupid! "he yells as he continues to run from a soaked Aya"  
  
"Schuldich appears now dressed in his usual assassin outfit."  
  
Schuldich: The merry little group finally reaches the end of the road made of cheese and finally meet the wizard.  
  
Takatori: Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!  
  
Ken: He's the wizard!?  
  
Schuldich: Dun dun dun.  
  
Takatori: Of course I am,Moron!  
  
Schuldich: Dun dun dun.  
  
Brad: Will you stop that!  
  
Schuldich: Dun dun dun.  
  
Brad: Stop that now, or die!  
  
Schuldich: Fine! Stupid stick up the ass! "Mumbles something in German"  
  
Takatori: Mwahahahahahahahaha!  
  
Aya: Shi-ine "Appears out of nowhere and kills Takatori."  
  
Omi: He killed the wizard!  
  
Schuldich: Dun dun dun.  
  
Brad: I thought I told you to stop that. Stupid German."he looks at Schuldich with a death glare."  
  
Schuldich: Make me! "Sticks out his tongue"  
  
Brad: Stop acting like a child! "Chases Schuldich with a metal mallet."  
  
Yohji: That's it! I quit!  
  
Nagi: I'm going home.  
  
Omi: Me too.  
  
Everyone leaves except Schuldich since he is still running from Brad.  
  
AUTHOR:PLEASE REVIEW.If you want to request a chapter,I'll be happy to do any requested parodies.Just tell me your request in a review.Next chapter is Snow Schu and the 6 Assassins. 


	2. Snow Schu

Author:Thanks to those who reviewed ^_^  
  
Omi:Once upon a time....  
  
Ken:A beautiful young girl,called Snow Schu......  
  
"In the background Schuldich is cursing in German as Yohji and Nagi try to get him to wear the Snow White costume"  
  
Brad:once lived in a Mansion...  
  
Farfarello:made out of bread and the torture chamber was made out of swiss cheese.  
  
Omi:Uuuuummmm....right........  
  
Ken:Her hair was long and red,  
  
Nagi:her skin as fair as snow,  
  
"Yohji drags Schuldich into the room,who is now dressed as Snow White."And her lips as red as rubies.  
  
Schuldich:I hate you...."pouts"  
  
Yohji:Revenge is sweet ^_^  
  
Aya:....  
  
Farfarello:Fairytales hurt God.  
  
Brad:She lived in the mansion with....  
  
Yohji:Takatori the man with stupid sideburns and with Schon the ex model.  
  
Omi:Schon owned a magic mirror.  
  
Schon:"stands in front of mirror"Mirror,mirror,on the wall,who's the sexiest of them all.  
  
"Face of Masafumi appears in the mirror"  
  
Masafumi:You are,Schon.  
  
Omi:But each day Snow Schu became more beautiful.  
  
Nagi:One day the mirror said....  
  
Masafumi:Schon,your beauty is grand,by damn Schu's hot!"reaches through the mirror and gropes Schuldich"  
  
Schuldich:Hentai!"takes Aya's katana and slices up the mirror"  
  
Schon:WHAT! Snow Schu is sexier than me! BUT HOW! TOT! Take Snow Schu in the forest into the forest and kill her!"Laughs like witch hazel from the Bugs Bunny cartoons."  
  
Brad:But Tot was too stupid to remember her orders so she just let Snow Schu go.  
  
Aya:"mumbles something"  
  
Yohji:Alone in the forest Snow Schu wandered around lost.  
  
Schuldich:Damn....I'm lost...I knew I should have asked the silver haired kid with dog ears for directions....  
  
Omi:She then saw a cabin in the meadow.  
  
Schuldich:Food!"runs towards the cabin"  
  
Nagi:She knocked on the door,but no one answered,so she went on in  
  
Schuldich:"sees a pot of stew" FOOD! ^_^ "eats stew"  
  
Ken:After eating she decided to lie down on one of the beds upstairs.  
  
Schuldich:"Yawns"Me sleepy"lies down on bed"  
  
LATER  
  
Voices:Hi Ho Hi Ho its back to home we go! "Singing out of tune"  
  
Nagi:When Snow Schu awoke she was surrounded by six men.  
  
Schuldich:Who the hell?"looks at Yohji,Omi,Ken,Aya,Farfarello,and Nagi who are dressed like elves since the dwarf costumes wouldn't fit"  
  
Omi:We are the six dwarf assassins....  
  
Schuldich:....  
  
Aya:.....  
  
Schuldich:If you left me stay here,I'll cook,clean,and have sex with all of you ^_~ Omi:Just cook and clean...nothing else...  
  
Brad:One day they told Snow Schu that the evil ex-model Schon knew where she was and not to talk to strangers.  
  
Ken:One as the dwarf assassins left...  
  
Dwarfs:Hi ho hi ho off to kill we go"leaves"  
  
Omi:A strange woman came selling...  
  
Farfie:Cheese!Swiss Cheese!  
  
Omi:Why Swiss Cheese?  
  
Farfie:Cuz Swiss cheese hurts God.  
  
Omi:^^;;;  
  
Schon:Cheese!I have yummy Swiss cheese for sell!"dressed as an old woman"  
  
Nagi:Not listening to the dwarfs warnings Snow Schu went outside and tried dome of the swiss cheese that was...  
  
Yohji:Laced with knockout drugs.  
  
Aya:..."Mutters"  
  
Ken:When the dwarf assassins came home they found a knocked out Snow Schu and couldn't wake her.  
  
Nagi:as the put in a coffin a price rode towards them.  
  
Brad:I refuse.  
  
Trunks8:DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!OR DIE!!!!!MWAHHAHAHHAHAHHA!!!!  
  
Brad:"glares""is dressed as prince"Who's she?  
  
Omi:Told him what happened"  
  
Farfie:Swiss cheese hurts God...and is EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Nagi:^^;;; we fear she may never awaken.  
  
Yohji:Prince Crawford went over to the casket. Brad:I can't believe I'm doing this..."lifts up Snow Schu and kisses her"  
  
Schu:"opens eyes and tackles Brad kissing him"^_^  
  
All leave minus Brad and Schu ^_~  
  
Aya went to the castle to kill Takatori.  
  
Author:Please Review.If you have a parody request tell me in a review. Happy Valentines Day ^_^ 


	3. Schuerella

Author: thanks to those who have reviewed   
  
Omi: Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom....  
  
Farfarello: which was made of cheese!  
  
Omi: ;;;; there lived an old geezer whose sideburns made he look like a koala and his lovely dau....  
  
Schuldich: son!  
  
Omi: his lovely daughter, Schuerella.  
  
Schuldich:   
  
Omi: Schuerella was a beautiful gi....  
  
Schuldich: boy! "he yells as Ken and Yohji force him into a dress"  
  
Omi: beautiful girl. Who had long red hair and emerald eyes.  
  
"Takatori enters"  
  
Omi: The father was an old geezer with koala sideburns....  
  
Takatori: Hey!  
  
Omi: He felt Schuerella needed a mother so he married a red-haired woman "pushes a glaring Aya, who is also wearing a dress, on stage" Who had two daughters. "Ken pushes both Farfie and Nagi, who are also in dresses, on stage." Their names were Nagastasia and Farzella. Mysteriously the old geezer died...  
  
"Aya is seen cleaning a bloody katana."  
  
Omi: One day a letter came.  
  
Aya: ....."mutters something about an invitation to a ball."  
  
Schuldich: That means I can go too   
  
Aya: Whatever...but only if you finish your chores and have a suitable dress... "walks off"  
  
Omi: Schuerella went up to her room and found a strange woman with a blue robe with a hood sitting on her bed.  
  
Schuldich: Who the hell? "looks at Ken dressed as the Fairy Godmother"  
  
Ken: I am your..."drumroll" Fairy GodKen!  
  
Schuldich: ?? Fairy what?  
  
Ken: Your Fairy GodKen!!!  
  
Schuldich: uuummm.....right....  
  
Ken: Now where's my magic bugnuks....  
  
Schuldich: Magic bugnuks.... ??  
  
Ken: Yep,good old magic bugnuks "pulls them out of thin air and puts them on his hands"  
  
Schuldich: ??  
  
Ken: What we need is...Salagadoola menchika boola,bibbidi bobbidi boo!!! Put em together and what have you got? Bibbidi bobbidi boo!!!!  
  
Yohji:As he sang and danced magical sparkly stuff flew into some...  
  
Farfarello:Swiss Cheese!!!!Swiss Cheese Hurts GOD!!!!!!  
  
Yohji: ??  
  
Omi: The cheese turns into a "drumroll" coach complete with a coachman,footman,and 4 horses"  
  
Nagi:He then uses his magic bugnuks to turn Schuerella'a old dress into a beautiful ball gown.  
  
Ken: Don't forget to be home by midnight! "waves as the coach drives away"  
  
Yohji:When Schuerella arrived at the ball,Prince Crawford was really bored.  
  
Brad: Damn...this is boring as hell...  
  
Yohji: Nagastasia and Farzella had just been introduced to him.He then caught sight of Schuerella across the ballroom.  
  
Brad: Why...me...."mumbles to himself"  
  
Trunks8:Go before I make you give Takatori a lap dance!!!   
  
Brad:: stupid author.....  
  
Omi:Anyways, back to the story,the Prince walked over to her.  
  
Brad: "moves to kiss Schuerella's hand"  
  
Schuldich: "Decides to tackle him to the floor instead."   
  
Brad: GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!!!!!!!THAT'S NOT IN THE SCRIPT!!!!  
  
Schuldich:It is now "kisses him"  
  
Brad:"Pushes him off"  
  
Nagi: The Prince then asks her to dance,together the swirled off across the ballroom.  
  
Omi: He never left Schuerella's side. "due to the fact that Schu handcuffed Brad to him" and they danced every dance together.  
  
Clock: DING DONG!!!  
  
Schu: Damn..."unlocks the handcuffs and runs off"  
  
Brad: Good riddens...  
  
Trunks8:   
  
Brad: I mean...WAIT!!COMEBACK!!!!  
  
Yohji:Schuerella hurried down the palace steps only to trip and lose one of her glass slippers.  
  
Schuldich: Oh,screw it. "He said as he ran off again."  
  
Omi: The next day the grand duke came to see whose foot would fit into the glass slipper.  
  
Ken: After Nagastasia and Farzella tried to squeeze their big stinky feet into the poor shoe...Schuerella tried it on.  
  
Omi: It was a perfect fit. The duke then took her to the palace and the prince was overjoyed to see her again.  
  
Brad: Damn....he's back....  
  
Schuldich: Braddie!!!!! "tackles him to the floor"  
  
Brad: Get Off!!!!!!! "is trying to pry Schuldich off with a crowbar...."  
  
Trunks8: The next day Prince Crawford and Schuerella got married and lived happily ever after.   
  
Notes: Please review If you would like to make a request please tell me in a review 


	4. Legend of Weiss Assassin of Time

disclamier:I unfortuneately don't own Weiss Kruez....or the Legend of Zelda.

Omi: A long time ago…

Ken:Before life began,before the world had form…

Yohji:three goddesses descended upon the chaotic land of Wyrule…

Farfarello:Which was already corrupted by God…

Nagi:They were Tin,the goddess of…

Schuldich: Annoying!

Brad: Manxru the goddess of wisdom and Schore,the goddess of coura…

Schuldich: Whining!

Brad: "eyebrow starts twitching" Tin with her strong flam….

Schuldich: Annoying voi…mmmpppphhhh."gagged by Brad"

Brad: Will you shut up!

Schuldich: "pouts"

Omi:Manxru poured her wisdom onto the earth to give the spirit of law to the world.

Ken:Schore's rich…

Schuldich:Mmmmpphh!!!mmp…."falls over unconcious" "swirly eyes"

Brad:"puts away his mallet" soul created all life forms who would uphold the law.

Yohji: These three great goddesses returned to the heavens…

Farfarello: "licks knife"

Nagi:Leaving behind the sacred…

Farfarello:Cheese!

Omi: ???

Ken: Since then the sacred 'cheese' has become the basis for Wyrule's providence….

Yohji:Where the sacred 'cheese' stood became sacred land.

Schuldich: "swirly eyes"

Brad: In the vast deep forest of Wyrule,The Great Perku Tree…

"Persia appears dressed as a tree"

Persia: This is so degrading…..

Omi: served as the guardian spirit.

Schuldich:Mmmph?

Brad:"raises eyebrow" Promise to behave yourself.

Schuldich:Mmmph..mmmmppphh."nods head"

Brad:"ungags him"

Schuldich: "smiles"The children of the forest,the…

Farfarello: God Hurters!

Ken: lived with the Great Perku Tree….

Brad:Each…

Farfarello:God Hurter…

Brad: had his or her own guardian fairy,except for one.

Nagi:His name was Ayink.

"Aya appears dressed as Link"

Omi: Early one morning,Ayink was having a nightmare.

Ken:It was the same nightmare he had every night.

Yohji:During a storm,Ayink would find himself in front of a mysterious castle.

Schuldich: A rider on horseback,carrying a girl would race by.

Brad:The girl would look at Ayink as if to say something,then another rider would appear…

Ken: This big man clad in black would look down menacingly at Ayink,who would then awaken.

"Schuldich appears dressed as Navi"

Brad:I always knew he was a fairy….

Yohji:Yea and not the magic kind…

Schuldich: "glares"

Omi:can't we just stick to the script…

Schuldich:Ayink! Hey, get up Ayink!The Great Perku Tree wants to talk to you!

Aya:Zzzzzzzzz…..

Schuldich: He's still asleep "winks" "looks around to make sure no one was watching"

Aya:"feels something on his legand glares as he sees Schuldich"

Schuldich: "winks"

Aya:Shi-ine! "reaches for his katana but remembers that he doesn't have it at the moment…." "glares"

Schuldich:"smiles" "is glad that he doesn't have his katana at the moment"

Omi:"decides to ignore them and continue narrating" Schavi was sent tosummon Ayink to the Great Perku Tree.

Schuldich:Come on!I don't have all day…."draggs Aya off"

Aya:"glares"

Persia: Oh Schavi,thou hast returned!Thankyou,Ayink,for coming.Thy slumber these past moons must have been restless,and full of nightmares.

Schuldich:"yawns"

Persia:A vile climate pervades this world.Verily,ye have felt it.The time has come to test thine courage.

Schuldich: "falls over asleep"

Persia:I have been cursed. I need you to dispel the curse with your wisdom and courage.Art thou prepared?

Aya:….

Yohji:Ayink entered the Great Perku Tree and broke the evil curse. "rereads script" Wait a minute,is that even possible….

Schuldich:ZZzzzzz…

Nagi:"shrugs"

Omi:Just use your imagination Yohji.

Fafarello: Or allow me to "licks knife" make it possible.

Persia: "is scared"

Ken:Uummmmmm… maybe later…

Persia: "sighs in relief" Well done Ayink! I knew that ye were worthy of carrying out my wishes.A wicked man of the desert cast his dreadful curse on.I must tell ye something,for I have not much longer to live…. "talks about how Ayink should leave the forest and find the Princess of Destiny."

3 hours later.

Aya:"I thought he said he didn't have much longer left to live….."

Persia: I have forseen that she'll understand everthing.The future de…..

Schuldich: JUST SHUT UP AND DIE ALREADY!!!!!!!

Persia: "frowns" Fine… "falls over dead"

Brad:And so Ayink left the forest along with his new guardian fairy Schavi to begin his destiny.

Trunks8:Please review.If you have any requests let me know.Also I'd appreciate it if you'd help me out by helping me decide who should play the role as princess Zelda.thanks to those who have reviewed.


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